When BFP turns to BFLD (Big Fat Let Down)

Yesterday I was in the hospital from 12-9:30pm. To make a very long story short, I got to find out 2 things ...

1st -- I know where my pain is coming from! I was diagnosed with a hemorrhagic ovarian cyst. Ok, so I can deal with that.

2nd -- My BETA levels dropped from 26.6 to 23 ... for those who are not familiar with pregnancy and what those numbers mean here's a brief explanation. When you have a healthy viable pregnancy your BETA levels double every 48 hours. Therefore, my Thursday BETA was 26.6 which my Saturday BETA should have been 53.2 ... which it was NOT, it wasn't even the same.

Needless to say my heart sunk and tears flowed endlessly.

I was so attached to the thought of being a mom again. The hubby and I had even sat in bed one night last week and talked about names. We even asked our daughter "Are you ready for a brother or sister" in her cute little voice she responded "Brother". Awww. I even went to Old Navy and looked at maternity clothes, man were they so cute! I got so excited ... that this was ACTUALLY happening again! EEEEeee! Then less than a couple days later my dreams were crushed. No more baby names, no more brother, no more maternity clothes. Maybe it's still the pregnancy hormones running through my body but I find it hard to sleep, think and breath now. But I must continue to truck along for my daughters sake. She even looked at me the other day and said "Mommy's sad". I had to wipe away the tears and give her a big hug...I can't do this in front of her.

So, anyways, tomorrow I go back to my fertility clinic for another BETA test. I'm sure just to confirm the inevitable. I'm so scared of the inevitable! Will it hurt? Will I need surgery? Will it last forever? Will I be able to try again sooner than 6 months?

The OBGYN said to me last night before leaving the hospital "You need to pray for a miracle, pray those numbers rise". The likelihood is low, but with God anything is possible. Can you help pray?

Dear Heavenly father, please help my baby thrive inside me. Wraps your arms around this little life and I promise to wrap my heart around the baby forever. Please help me to remain strong through the good and the bad. You are an awesome God, thank you. In your name I pray, Amen.