I was on cloud nine after my period came on Saturday. I thought to myself "Finally this nightmare was over, I can breathe now" .... I mean really what is worse than losing a baby that you already loved so much?? Well, now I know, it can always get worse.
I had a great lunch with a great friend before my appointment and had Hailey in tow. We jumped in the car to head to my appointment about 40 miles away. After about 10 mins of driving, Hailey fell asleep .... grrr that means I would have to wake her up when I got there. After driving for about an hour, I arrived at my Fertility Clinic and yes had to wake up Hailey (she was crying and grumpy--to be expected). Anyhow, I walked in the clinic with the head held high and "knew" I would be leaving with my fertility scripts in hand. I wrote my name on the board and waited for my name to be called --- finally it was time to start over, a new beginning.
I went back to the room and dis-robed ... gotta love stirrups huh ladies?!
Anyhow, the doctor came into the room and I did the infamous scooting of my booty to the end of the table. As always, the doctor said "scoot down some more". Ok, so now my butt cheeks were hanging off, could I be in anymore of an uncomfortable situation?! My vote "no". Anyways in went the probe and she checked my uterus, she said it looked "great". Phewww, that was a HUGE relief. She went to the right side to check the right ovary and 1 second after she moved the wand the screen went black...all I saw were her eyes were huge and then she said AND I quote "OH SHIT". I was like "what, what". She said you have a huge cyst. Ok, I have had cysts before. She said "this is the largest cyst I have ever seen". She measured the cyst and it was 6.33cm--holy crap! She informed me that there was a possibility that I could lose that ovary or I could get ovarian torsion. This just freaked me out. My side is now pulsating with pain and I have a huge lump in my throat. The doctor left the room to write me a prescription for hormone treatment. I quickly put my clothes back on and rushed over to her desk, I had a load of questions in my mind that just come out like word vomit. Will this work, what if it bursts, is this "really" a big cyst, could it be from the miscarriage??? The doctor probably thought I was about to go mental. She tried to be reassuring and say "All we can do now is try the hormone therapy, we will re-scan you in 21 days". Holy cow, really 21 days?!
I drove home and did some research on my computer and picked up my "hormone treatment". I did read on most sites that a cyst this large is recommended to be removed via surgery. Now, I am totally scared if the hormones don't work and it continues to grow, my ovary may burst. For those who are not informed on how big your ovary is (I really didn't know either) ... it is the size of an almond. Inside my almond is a cyst the size of an orange. If you do the math, you'll realize the magnitude of the situation. I feel like I have a ticking time bomb in my abdomen.
Anyhow, I took my hormone pills last night ... it was HORRIBLE. About 4 hours later I was nauseated, dizzy and couldn't sleep. Finally I gave in and went downstairs and took some anti-nausea medicine and fell asleep around 1:30am.
I did switch Fertility doctors (for the 3rd time) yesterday, but I will stay with the same clinic. The only good news yesterday was that the newer doctor on staff actually accepts my insurance. Now granted my insurance doesn't cover fertility treatment BUT diagnostic stuff like yesterday ultrasound would have been covered. Instead, I ended up paying $275 out of pocket for my ultrasound. I have a consultation with the new RE doctor next Monday. At that time I will ask for another ultrasound to see after 1 week if the meds are doing anything. I figure it's my body and I have the right to ask for it. Plus once the doctor switch is complete my insurance should cover it!
Anyhow, I read online that a cyst the size of mine can take 3-4 MONTHS to shrink on hormones. IF and only IF my body responds to hormone therapy. No more babies, no more trying, I just wanna cry my eyes out ... Oh wait, I already have.
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