FET cycle ... so it begins .... well sorta ....

I wish my doctor prepared me for yesterdays phone call, instead it was a huge blow to my excitement!

Imagine my shock when the doctor told me that I would have to go on birth control pills the rest of September and the WHOLE month of October. Those words shot through me, like a bullet straight to my heart. I could feel the lump in my throat growing as I sucked back my tears and continued the phone call. It's amazing how you can want something so bad and you are so close but it slips through your fingers.

Never the less, I want to try to pick myself back up and just know that everything is in God's hands. I just can't wait for 2 little blinking eyeballs to be staring up at me. I can't wait to feel the warmth of a new little life laying in my lap. I just can't wait .... but I have to.

This is the protocol:

Birth Control Pills - Sept/Oct
These will shut down the uterus and the ovaries...or as my RE puts it "We are putting everything to sleep"

Last week of October I will be adding Lupron to my BCP regimen. Lupron is a dirty dirty drug with TONS of side effects. Lupron is a drug that depletes your whole body of estrogen. It's like going through menopause INSTANTLY.
The Lupron side effects are atrocious:
Constipation; dizziness; general body pain; headache; hot flashes; loss of appetite; nausea or vomiting; stuffy nose; insomnia; weakness.

I took another drug similar to this one and it made my legs hurt so bad that I couldn't walk. The pain was excruciating ... like someone snapped all my bones. I'm so scared of this drug and I can't believe I have to inject it every day for 18 days. Thanks to my mother in law who offered to watch Hailey during this time because I don't know how I am going to manage life during this time.

Ok, after the Lupron, I then have to flood my body with estrogen (this will surely cause a migraine). I will be using estrogen patches and vaginal estrogen for 5-6 days. This is used to "plump up" the uterus for implantation.

They will run blood work to see where my estrogen levels are and if the are good THEN I will begin injecting Progesterone oil and using vaginal progesterone cream. I will go for more blood work.

Should all my levels be perfect and my uterus the "perfect" thickness, they will then do the embryo transfer.

I have a VERY long 6-8 weeks ahead of me. Most people are rushing to prepare for the holiday festivities ... I will be preparing myself for a new life.

I just pray I will be able to take my daughter Trick or Treating on Halloween. I hope the pain permits me one day of relief. My daughter deserves the world ... she is my EVERYTHING.

Dear God grant me the strength. Bless those who have helped me along my journey as without them, nothing would be possible.