April showers brings May flowers?

I didn't know what to title this post ... but for some reason it seemed so fitting. 

I'm still sitting with so many questions that only God can help me answer. As May is approaching, my MRI month. I called to make my appointment. I'm an advance planner! Thankfully, I called early, because breast MRI's must be done on day 7 to 12 of your cycle (to get the most accurate, clear picture). Anyway, my appointment has been moved up to April 25th, oh my word, that's only 4 days away! 

This MRI is very important. I haven't had a breast MRI since my first genetic testing back in 2011. I'm so nervous that something will be seen that mammogram didn't see in November. I'm praying for peace, comfort and positivity. 

Final decisions will be made after this MRI. Big decisions. Most likely, life changing. 

I sit here thinking .... would you jump off a mountain without a parachute if there was a 50/50 chance you'd get seriously hurt? It makes 50/50 sound a little different. You may walk away, you may be paralyzed. Big risk. 

Oh life, why can you be so hard. 

Proverbs 4
Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.
I give you sound learning,
so do not forsake my teaching.
For I too was a son to my father,
still tender, and cherished by my mother.
Then he taught me, and he said to me,
“Take hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands, and you will live.
Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or turn away from them.
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get^a wisdom.
Though it cost all you have,^b get understanding.
Cherish her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.
She will give you a garland to grace your head
and present you with a glorious crown.”
Listen, my son, accept what I say,
and the years of your life will be many.
I instruct you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.
When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.
Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.
Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evildoers.
Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.
For they cannot rest until they do evil;
they are robbed of sleep till they make someone stumble.
They eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence.
The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.
My son, pay attention to what I say;
turn your ear to my words.
Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
for they are life to those who find them
and health to one’s whole body.
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to the^c paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.